January 23, 2026
I study ‘impatience’ a lot because I am, pretty much all the time, impatient. I’ve got a lot to do! Thus, when something slows me down, my reaction ranges from a mild huff to crawling out of my skin, itching to get going! I do not know if this is a mental condition for which a therapist would be called for, I of course believe I’m just being reasonable. So here are my favorites:
The unrequested pop-up ad on Fox News dot com
This is the one that suddenly fills your screen and then you have to wait three or four seconds for the little X in the corner so you can dismiss it to get back to reading what you were reading. All I can say is this:
Congratulations Fox, I no longer go to your website.
Phone battery dying at 3%
Look, I’m sure the fine print in the documentation warns me in Section 9, paragraph 4, line 22 that the phone dies, not at zero percent but at 3 percent. So, if I’m using my phone to call in an airstrike on the woodpeckers pecking my house and the phone dies, I have no recourse to Apple. You warned me! More, I’m sure the 3% is the level because it allows enough power remaining to save everything before it goes to sleep.
Well, I don’t care. This is a real pain because I forget it dies at 3% and more, while I do have the rent paid, I don’t have the money to pay for the $13,234 battery replacement. And I can’t be without the phone for six months because I need the app that runs the pool heater. So, I’m really stuck here on this one. I’d switch to Samsung, but Google is all over that and life is just too short to spend the next few weeks deleting all the attempted Google intrusions.
Tim, I’m miserable about this and you’re to blame. There’s your ‘enhanced customer experience’ for the day.
The guy with 26 items in the express lane.
It says, “10 Items or Less” and you know that’s what it says, but you don’t care. You’re also the guy who gets a fake handicap sticker for his car. This is a family publication so I can’t fully express myself (good pun, that…express). This is really too bad.
But I am reminded you’re not the worst. The worst is the couple with 38 items who break it up into his batch of 20 and hers of 18. You know, cleverly skirting the rules. Breaking the 10 Rule in a big way. I would be moved to say, “How can the two of you survive 50 years of marriage to each other, with the only real co-operation as a couple evidently involving cheating in the express lane?” But I’m sure you draw the line when you pay your taxes, right?
I think the only reason I don’t speak up is because it would further slow the lane. He would get red in the face and stare at me. She would go silent and stare at the cashier. The cashier would stop cashiering.
I think we need a rule: If you cheat in the express lane, you have to pay for the groceries of all the people patiently waiting behind you. That would put the cork in that bottle, pronto. Guy in a green Publix shirt comes running out, blows the whistle, calls the penalty. That would be fun, for sure.
People who stop and talk in the middle of the aisle
I am not a doctor but I think I could win a Nobel Prize in Medicine for discovering the global pandemic called Stopped Aisle Syndrome.
So, there I am, Target, Publix, TJ Maxx, Nieman Marcus. Sally sees Mary, you would think they each thought the other was dead and are wonderfully surprised to see it is not so. Two chatters, two carts expertly situated to block the aisle. Ah me.
Men are the same but in a different way. If you say to the two women, “Excuse me” with a small smile and you kind of gently move your way through, they are inevitably very nice and murmur some “Oh! Sorry!” and you get an escape route through the conversation scrum. Men react differently. They just stare at you and then they reluctantly move ever so slowly and barely give you a way through. Like you’re interrupting their day.
It has gotten to be such a thing for me that if I look down the aisle and see too much traffic, I instantly compute the odds (helpful that I traded options my whole life) and will detour when necessary.
You wonder…if they don’t listen, you just ram them with your cart. Their cart will move, you get invective hurled at you, but mission accomplished. Now, just where is the 2-fer on socks I was looking for?
Password Resets
Netflix is on the tip of my brain. It’s getting to be a drag. I’m sorry people try and steal your stuff, but you did get them all used to those family memberships. And now in trying to reverse all of that you torture me with password resets and “is this your device?” pop up screens. Look, I never had anyone on my membership so I don’t know why you’re coming after me.
We’re really enjoying Victoria but after we stop that binge, we may try to dare I say it? Go Netflix Cold Turkey. Netflix can accelerate that decision by getting the Fox News pop up ad app thing.
Well, it’s not just Netflix, is it? How many times per year am I requested to reset my password? And why do I need an ‘account’ to see the weather today, or what games are playing on Sunday? I mean, I know why. You’re selling me to other companies so they can try and get an account with me which then will require…password resets.
But, ha! I’m onto you. Just know that if you require a password reset for no good reason, the reset will be to take you off my Bookmarks Bar. There. Password goes to blank.
This is not all negative, here’s a good idea
When we check out at Costco, or BJ’s or Sam’s, Michael puts the stuff on the conveyor belt with the bar codes facing up. And then she puts all the stuff in the cart with the bar codes facing up. Thereby, we can check out in something like 10.4 seconds, down from 56 seconds. Which gives us time to curse the idiot who parked his car so close to ours we can’t open the door. Of course, the way to handle that one is to open his car door, with a hammer and pliers. That doesn’t really help you get into your own car, but somehow it feels good and compensates.
Finally, this. People who take cherries from one package and put them in the package they’re buying to create a petty theft bargain are also thin skinned. Which you and I wind up paying for, somehow. Well, I know they are thin skinned because one day at Publix, I stopped and asked them if I could buy them a package to go with the one they were stuffing. They were not amused. I, however, thought it was very kind of me. Right? Kind? And of course, the husband quietly whispered, “You know Mabel, maybe take it?”
You’re right, I do need help. Not a lot, maybe 3-4 hours of focused professional health care conversation would do it.
Thoughts, questions, or reflections? I’d love to hear them. You can reach me anytime at anthony@workingprofit.com
