March 13, 2026
These have accumulated over the past few weeks as my personal wanderings through the world put me in contact with pencil brains, the clueless, those who practice ‘me first’ all the time. All those people who just make life unnecessarily rude. Plus, some satire. So, here we go…
We need a rule that says when you’re getting off an airplane, and you shoulder aside people in the rows in front of you so you can get off the plane first, you have to eat airline food for the next month. I guarantee you will never do that thing again.
We need a rule that says when someone announces they are trying to catch a connecting flight and they might miss it, and you don’t kindly stand aside for them so they can have a chance…you must wait until everyone on the plane exits first. Then, you have to clean the plane. And when you miss your own flight, too bad…you have to buy another ticket.
We need a rule that says when you’re in a restaurant and you’re being loud and blaring and obnoxious and ruining everyone’s dinner because you’ve had too much to drink…You must pay for everyone’s dinner who raises their hand that theirs was interrupted. Matter of fact, I think we can adjust that. You might as well pay for everyone’s because I’m thinking everyone’s hand will go up. But if some wise guy raises both hands, no, you only have to pay for one for him. Hold on. Never mind. You have to pay for his twice. After all, you’ve earned the privilege.
We need a rule that says if you give some kid working at McDonald’s or wherever a hard time…then you must take his/her job for a week so you can work out your anger properly. And no, you don’t get free meals. Unless you screw up the job in which case you have to eat it 3X/day. That’ll teach you.
We need a rule that says if you’re scheduled to show up to work at a customer’s house, and you keep the customer waiting more than 20 minutes beyond the scheduled appointment time: If in a snowy state, you have to sit in your truck/car for the number of minutes you kept them waiting with the air conditioning on. And if in a sunshine state like Florida, you have to do the same thing except with the heater on. You’re ahead of me here but no, you can’t open the windows. I mean, if you could, what would be the point?
We need a rule that says if you require the customer to receive a twelve digit code that he has to enter before he can log onto your lousy website, and you don’t send it, or it goes to his junk mail…you have to type out that code 10,000 times and then print it out, and then eat the paper. Maybe you’ll pay more attention to not torturing people with your website.
We need a rule. We need to thank sites like Babylon Bee for American humor and satire:
Thoughts, questions, or reflections? I’d love to hear them. You can reach me anytime at anthony@workingprofit.com
